Growing In Positives
What if the thoughts we think most are the ones that water our soul?
What are the thoughts you think most throughout the day? I’m tired.I hate this job. I feel so fat. I can’t do this anymore. I’m just stuck, everything is harder than it has to be, and nothing is working. What’s the point?
If your own child or a friend was telling you these things, you’d have some encouraging words to say to them to try and cheer them up, or to help them feel better about themselves. Our first instinct with others is to challenge their negatives, to give them jokes to make them laugh or positive statements to make them feel better. But with our own thoughts we tend to dwell in the negatives endlessly or even to spiral into more anxious or catastrophic thoughts. We ALLOW our brain to believe our negative feelings instead of playing the role a friend would, and challenging those thoughts.
We frequently teach our kids to see the hard things we are feeling or dealing with as a catalyst for growth. We want them to be able to challenge themselves and not give up when things get hard. Parents can practice statements like “If it feels hard it just means I’m growing” or “Learning feels like failing first”. We need to do the same thing for ourselves as adults. Repeating a simple statement like that, over and over, gives us a new way to view struggles or bad days, and a resilient mindset instead of a victim mentality.
“Most folks are about as happy as they choose to be.”
PRACTICAL HELP
So how do we grow more positive thoughts? Start small & be consistent. Keep in mind, ‘we perform what we rehearse’.
Write down your most common negative thoughts, and pick 3-5 that are impacting you the most. (Example: “I’ll never have friends, I’m too weird.”)
Find/write a positive statement that challenges each negative thought. (Example: “I’m unique & will find my tribe.”)
Read the positives 3 times a day. Set a timer on your phone so you don’t forget.
After you’ve read them for 6 weeks, they will start to become automatic thoughts. Keep rehearsing them and add other statements as you need them.
Here are some my clients have loved over the years:
I am challenging myself and growing everyday.
I’m careful with my heart and looking for people who match my energy.
I won’t dwell on on what I don’t have or what could’ve been, I’m focused on the here and now.
I can start where I am with what I have.
I’m open to new experiences and relationships.
Change is teaching me to trust myself.
Let me know if you find other good ones, I’d love to hear them. But remember, the hard things are making you stronger. And what you feed your brain will grow.
Take care,
Angie
